Growing Up

Well, I'm home. And even though I'm on vacation, that hasn't stopped the majority of you from hounding me about blogging. Specifically about the time I got hit by a car and wound up in the urgent care center. 

But I'll save that for a later date. 

Like when the scar on my face heals and my eye is in less pain. 

After six months of being apart, two of my high school friends delved back into the tradition of having a sleepover just like we used to. Fried chicken, chocolate in any form, a Disney movie, nail painting - so typical, so predictable and utterly perfect. Then we all climb into a double bed and talk until we pass out and sleep til morning. 

At least.....that's how it used to be. 

THEN 

NOW

THEN

NOW

Things at home are a little different, too.

I'm sharing a bathroom with my brother and sisterinlaw after having my own bathroom for five years.

And we all have the same color toothbrush. 

It's been an unsanitary adventure. 

I know you're all desperate for blog posts.

Especially the guy who smacked me on the forehead at a potluck to see if I'd blog about it.

Well, Merry Christmas.

You got your wish. 

Library Probz

I love the library.

As a general rule, its really quiet and quaint. I come here at least once a day (yes, I am that girl). 

But sometimes there are disturbances. 

Like the one time they decided to have a tailgate party here. In the middle of the day. When people were trying to study.

And then there's less noticeable, unscheduled disturbances. 

Like the radish guy.

Me minding my own business in the library: 

Rly?

There's a PROFESSOR next to me right now chowing down on raw radishes.

Like going to townnnn on them. 

You can not imagine the immense crunching I'm having to endure right now. 

I'm trying to get a degree, people. 

Don't be the guy who brings radishes to the library.

Don't be that guy. 

The Drunken Sir

Long time no blog, right?

Believe me, I've heard your complaints. 

And obviously so did my idle, tiki-lamp neighbors. 

They've come to entertain. 

I'm not sure if this is better or worse than them sitting in chairs all day every day...

But it certainly is more dangerous

My neighbor, who has now been coined as "drunken sir" in my mind, got super shwasted Saturday morning.

I'm talking like noon. 

Im not sure how he got from point A to point B.... but by 12:45am (twelve hours later) he was actively taking an ax to the tree next door with an entire cheering audience by his side. 

Why didn't you stop him? you might ask. Why did you lock your doors and creep on them through your bathroom window instead of breaking up the festivities? 

Solid question. 

Allow me to consult the flow chart. 

Once the tree fell down, he moved on to his bike. 

And then to his truck....

The last and most expensive of which I'm assuming he'll come to regret the most. 

Overall my Halloween weekend was filled with observations of riotous living and disheveled Disney princesses....

Yikes, Auburn. Yikes. 

Spiderman and Other Things

My infamous hatred for spiders is nothing new.

But in light of all the new super hero movies and paraphernalia I've noticed a new, blossoming hatred of mine.

I hate Spiderman.

Is this possibly due to the fact that he is part spider and/or has spider-like qualities? 

Maybe. 

But it might just be because he's lame. 

Spider senses?

No.

I have real spider senses.

I can sense a spider watching me from 20 feet away.

How could he not have known that spider was touching him before it bit him?

Because in addition to being lame, he has no dignity or sense of self-preservation. Thats how. 

In other news, things in Auburn are fine. 

And of course by fine I mean things are still just as weird as they were when I got here. 

Occasionally I see a man I refer to in my mind as "Hawaiian Biking Santa". 

King Tut moved seats.

Apparently she can "hear better from the 6th row".

As opposed to the first row....

At least I can spread out now. 

I'm pretty sure my neighbors haven't moved from their front porch in 96 hours. 

Then there was the girl in the Pikachu suit that no one but me seemed to notice.

And the Taco Salad Guy...

But other than that, I have nothing to report. 

The Tuttster

The Tuttster, as I have so affectionately taken to calling King Tut, made some serious strides today.

And by that I mean she quit taking notes after five minutes.

I would've quit if I were her, too.

50% of the words on her page were spelled wrong.
That's HALF, people.
For her sake, I'm modifying the phrase "stop while you're ahead" to a slightly more appropriate "stop when you can at least break even".  

The first sentence (fragment) on her page: 

"Very advance in techology." 

Techology.

Scariface.

Calim.

Drout. (Drought.) 

Foriengers.

Inivators. (Innovators.) 

I started to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe she's created her own short hand.

Maybe she's dyslexic. 

I have reason to believe that both of these possibilities are 100% false.

For the latter, you could mix up the letters in some of those words and they still wouldnt be English. Or correct. 

In regards to the former, that would require a certain shortness to the words.

A specific instance we've encountered shoots down the theory.

Topic: Sumer. A region of Mesopotamian times. 

Her rendition: Sunnemner.  

WHAT?!?

But it gets worse.
Her academic struggles aren't solely confined to spelling.

Also can I add to this that she's spilled coffee on me twice?

Someone please help me.