The Tuttster

The Tuttster, as I have so affectionately taken to calling King Tut, made some serious strides today.

And by that I mean she quit taking notes after five minutes.

I would've quit if I were her, too.

50% of the words on her page were spelled wrong.
That's HALF, people.
For her sake, I'm modifying the phrase "stop while you're ahead" to a slightly more appropriate "stop when you can at least break even".  

The first sentence (fragment) on her page: 

"Very advance in techology." 

Techology.

Scariface.

Calim.

Drout. (Drought.) 

Foriengers.

Inivators. (Innovators.) 

I started to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe she's created her own short hand.

Maybe she's dyslexic. 

I have reason to believe that both of these possibilities are 100% false.

For the latter, you could mix up the letters in some of those words and they still wouldnt be English. Or correct. 

In regards to the former, that would require a certain shortness to the words.

A specific instance we've encountered shoots down the theory.

Topic: Sumer. A region of Mesopotamian times. 

Her rendition: Sunnemner.  

WHAT?!?

But it gets worse.
Her academic struggles aren't solely confined to spelling.

Also can I add to this that she's spilled coffee on me twice?

Someone please help me.

King Tut

King Tut, as mentioned in an earlier post, is the girl I sit next to in history.

She continues to astound me with her spelling skills.

I walk in there every time thinking

Don't be distracted by her notes.

Don't glance over.

Don't read them. 

Do.

Not.

Look.

But I just can't help it....

I think deep down part of me is hoping for some semblance of improvement from week to week.

Thus far I have been disappointed.

Provety

Budah

Suffring

Modrat

Happienese 

But by "disappointed" I mean "happie" to have something to blog about. 

At least her listening skills are 100%

Hahaha no, no, I'm just kidding.

I <3 King Tut. 

The Hunt

The college kids from my church have an annual campus-wide scavenger hunt. I'd been hearing about it for weeks. It's a pretty big deal. 

Egg hunts being a favorite, I was 100% on board. 

This is what I thought it would be like: 

What it was actually like: 

I first realized this was no children's game when we got to the "Reaping".

Names were called out, alliances formed, friendships shattered forever...

Not really, but it was very Hunger Gamesy, but I thought it would be okay. These kinds of things are for show.

Wrong.

We got an "initial packet"

In the Hunger Games this would have been the equivalent of helpful things: water, rope, medicine.

This is what we got: 

Within the first 30 seconds my team was climbing a fence. 

This is the moment that I knew I shouldn't have worn jeans. Or taken a shower beforehand.

This is the moment when we met our first puzzle.

And one of my teammates solved it. In five seconds. 

After realizing I was going to be pretty useless the whole time...

It pretty much a dramatic downhill spiral from there. 

I shamelessly belittled myself to the position of "envelope opener" about half way through. 

We did make it to the end.

Which was probably the only time I showed any kind of enthusiasm or athletic ability. 

I'd like to applaud my team for not leaving me to die. 

Because I'm 99% sure we came in dead last. 

That may or may not be contributed to the fact that I did nothing. 

Moral of the story: AU Scavenger hunts = Not like egg hunts.

At all. 

The Bus

I was never allowed to ride the school bus as a little kid. 

Sheltered life, I know.

Not that I minded. School buses are gross and usually sticky. (Jam hands, y'all)

Not the Auburn buses.

These buses are POSH. 

They've got cushioned, separated seats and air conditioning and everything. 

Me gusta. 

 How I try to look on the outside despite my bus excitement: 

How I most definitely look: 

There's just something hypnotizing about these buses to me.

I just cant explain it. 

Part of my love for the buses comes from my deep committed love for the yellow flower covered fields filled with cows and horses surrounded by white picket fences we drive by en route. 

The thing is, I'm the only one that cares, because Huckleberry Finn and Tucker Bob next to me on the bus all grew up on farms.  

I'm not sure how to express my love for them yet.

Perhaps saying something to the driver?

"I like your bus!"

"You have a really nice bus..."

"This bus has bewitched me body and soul......"

None of these seem totally appropriate. 

Buses aren't all kicks and giggles.... 

But I still love them. 

This Place is Weird

I've seen some crazy things here.

For starters, I sit next to the dumbest girl I have ever met. Ever.

EVER.

I nicknamed her King Tut in my mind. 

Why?

We're listening to a lecture on early Egyptian civilizations and just out of curiosity I glance over at her notes. 

Famose? Tome?? IN TACTED??

My first thought was "lol this girl..."

But then it became "How did you even get here?!"

English is most definitely her first language. No excuses. 

Other words that she's butchered with a huge unintelligent knife: Citizenedship. Suicede. Deimention (dimension) and SLUTTER (slaughter). 

The last one made me choke on coffee. 

All I can really say is that we will not be study partners. 

So King Tut was number one. 

Second weird thing?

Life-sized cardboard cut out of the Pope. 

But with an added bonus.

A sign taped to the side that says "I'm an AU Fan!"

                                     

At first I was like, "I really doubt that..."

But then I was like..."You just made the Pope lie to everyone..."

Catholic Club Fail. 

Then there's this Sir.

Every day for eight hours he sits in a rolling chair on the sidewalk on campus.

He's our "security guard"

Dont be fooled, I've just narrowed this post down to the three most memorable.

I've seen a host of other weird things.

Like my next door neighbor shooting a bow and arrow in his front yard. 

I'm also 50% sure I saw Liam Hemsworth on a skateboard. 

Which no one believes.

But Im seereose. 

Maps

My relationship with maps is similar to my relationship with math.

We don't have a relationship.

For good reason.

Feeling like a boss at this point

Feeling less like a boss. 

Just a peek maybe. 

A casual passing glance. 

Possible analyzation. 

Serious scrutiny. 

                                             I love maps.